“Please, consider me a dream.”
— Franz Kafka
If you are unmarried by age 29 (female) or age 31 (male) statistically you have just avoided your first divorce
me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors
the urgency and fear in edward’s voice when he says “you need to see what i look like in the sunlight” just doesn’t make sense. bro you just sparkle???? that’s literally it???? it’s not???? a big deal????? why are you such a dramatic whore???? there is truly no reason for him to be Like That????
What Edward thinks he looks like in the sun: 👹👹👹
How he actually looks: 💎💎💎
me when it’s cloudy and raining outside and there are no hot vampires tripping over themselves to kill me:
Twilight AU where james and victoria have a screaming argument during the initial confrontation with the cullens bc SHE WANTS TO PLAY BASEBALL and HE WANTS 2 START A FISTFIGHT and WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!!!!!!
laurent and carlisle are both desperately trying 2 make small talk as victoria just picks james up and slams him into the ground a few times like the fucking hulk
‘yeah i prefer playing outfield but i don’t mind pitching sometimes’ laurent says over james’s high pitched screaming
I know tumbglr loves to make fun of yoga culture as a whole but holy shit yoga’s good
Isn’t that the guy from Star Trek
yeah sure why not
actually I take it back, this is an oblique pun on yoda and never let it be said that I think yoda’s good. yoda doesn’t know shit
My phone’s camera accidently started doing a vertical panorama. Decided to give it a go and got this really cool pic!
Dang
“Do you love the color of fire?”
Sometimes I forget everything is made from bits of stuff that the stars are made of, and this makes me feel warm inside.
